Monday, 2 December 2013

Ordinary Thunderstorm

Hi guys. Yuki here. It's my first time writing for a blog so do pardon my mistakes.

For my first post, I'm going to do a book review, seeing as I rarely read books or novels. All I ever read are mangas for that matter. I blame my brother for that. Haha.

The novel  is entitled Ordinary Thunderstorm by William Boyd. It has very interesting themes, filled with thriller,comedy and whatnot. The story is about Adam Kindred, a young climatologist who had his life turned upside down as a result of a chance encounter and a split-second decision set in modern day London. His home, job, reputation, passport, money- basically everything had been lost. He had been wrongly accused, obviously, of murdering a Philip Wang, who was actually holding a secret crucial in the pharmaceutical world. In a panic, he took the secret files entrusted by Phillip and decided to go underground in hiding until things calm down. But, he was not really safe as the real murderer,a hired hitman was also chasing after him, other than the Metropolitan Police. So begins his adventurous life as he encounters people from all walks of life (aristocrats, priests, prostitutes and a policewoman).

Throughout the story, the characters develop quite slowly at first but it came out fine. Adam showed great progress in adapting to all the crisis he had, which is pretty awesome, I'd say. He had neat survival skills too. Constructing a strategic secret hideout, went under a disguise, scraping for enough food (in which he killed a seagull and barbequed the poor bird),conning other people, joining some religious cult and all sorts of crazy things that you would never imagine doing just to survive. Kinda terrifying if I were to live like that as it may happen to any of us.
When I think of London, I'd imagine a place with an air of elegance, people having tea out in the streets,scones and having daily conversation with that sexy British accent. Hehehe, just normal things right? But the story shows the other side of London that we (me, in particular) never had a clue about.

The novel is a pretty good read. I would recommend it for people who want to start reading thriller novels because it's a bit mild in my opinion.
So yeah, I had a great time reading it so far.Obviously i haven't finished it yet but yeah,you got the point,right?

P/S : It's kinda R15/R18 ish so be careful. Don't say I didn't warn you :3
The cover of the book.

Enjoy your day :D

Saturday, 9 November 2013


It's been long since i wrote a delicate post,my English and grammar level dropped dramatically nowadays.And here i am again, ranting shits that are happening around me while i'm hibernating.

A few weeks ago,i've read about kettles...nope,it's not an ordinary kettle you might find in shops at the electrical appliances section.It was 'Made in China'(which didn't surprise me), which contains some sort of microchip that can transmit information.Sooo totally Kettle!pfft,sorry for my bad joke.This kettle will spy on you,literally know what you've been up to,what you usually surf on the net,maybe.I don't have that many knowledge on what it's capable of but its certainly using your wifi to work.If i accidentally bought this kettle,brought it home,use it to make some really awesome tea with maybe some danish cookies to dip in the tea with and probably some scones blablabla....i can be certain that the Chinese will die from boredom as i got nothing interesting for them,just by seating in front of my laptop,atomizing the comment section just to piss off some bitches.Nah,i won't do that,i'm a coward,all i can do is just write your name in my Death Note even if i don't know your real name.

What i want to project here is that there's no more privacy if that is what you're looking for in this materialistic world.It had never existed.The human nature is just like that.For example,if you open a restaurant and it went on  gorgeously well until another
badass restaurant opens next to you and it happens to be splendidly more successful than yours are.Damnation! You must be wondering what the heck did they serve there that can be better than your ultimate pizza with candy topping.So,what will you do?You would probably hire someone to check on them and that,amigo, is called spying.Or let's just take some other simple example,you're currently surfing the net and reading this awesome blog,but while you and i were doing that,the Big Bro has already tracked you. They violated your privacy when you're having fun,watching pornography with so-called undetected surfing.It is said that,they have to do it to track any possible terrorist/extremist.(i'm sure there's plenty more,however who am i to judge).You mad, bro?Are you mad they tracked you down?But,what can we possibly do to stop them?Seriously,i'm asking you right now.

Well,we'll put that matter aside for now.

All this privacy thing reminded me of an article/post that i read not very long ago but already forgotten where i've read it (pfft,brain) where it had posed about the Stasi.You guys should probably know enough about it.Dated back in the 1960s until late 80s,a humongous wall had separated Berlin into the East and the West.So,it's like this Stasi rule in the East.They checked every civilian for any possible rebellion and keeps every information about that particular person like what they do at night etc by using informants. The informants could be anyone,friends or even family.But,in the article i read about the Stasi,it proposed a very different perspective which captivated me.This particular spying activity had dated way back, even before the Stasi,so i'm pretty sure there's a lot of usage of intelligence.

There's so many mysteries yet to be unfold...but some are just meant to be kept buried behind the thick concrete wall,45 feet under.

Well,anyway i hope you dear readers,live your life with a smile...

danke lunatichoco95~

Tuesday, 29 October 2013


It was painfully satiating,
     the stupid waitings,
     the numbed limbs,
     the muttered apologies.

I was wrong,
     to say it is fine,
     to tug the chapped lips,
     to hold the umbrella.

I forgot,
     that humans forget,
          forget things,
          forget people,
          forget words.
     who am I,
          to blame other human.

Monday, 14 October 2013


“ Yeah love which is ineffable
I really wanna talk to you right now
This is my obsession ”

She’s so beautiful
Like an angel that fell from heaven
I even afraid to approached her
But seeing other guys near her
I really don’t like it. No. I hate it !
She’s mine. All mine !

“Hey Daehyun ! Let’s go to the café before we run out all the foods “


Her laughed
 It is so addicted
Tell me that I’m weird but I don’t mind listen to it every night before sleep
But, seeing her laughing because of others guy made me want to slay them alive
Damn it !

“ Hello~ Earth to Jung Daehyun “ Daehyun blink his eyes and look at his bestfriend, Youngjae. Clueless.
“ What the hell man ! I was talking to you but you were out of your mind and totally ignored me ! “ Daehyun bit his lips and hold a tight grip of fork that he held
“ I’m sorry “ Youngjae let out the soft sighed “ What is wrong with you ? You acting kinda weird this lately “
What is wrong with me ? I don’t know either

That beautiful long hair
Long and wavy
I’m dying to touch it
It’s beautiful
Yeah beautiful
Just like her
Her beautiful smile
That form by her thin lips
Her cute nose
Her eye smile
She so perfect
No. too perfect
I know everything about her
Her hobbies
Her favourite foods
Her favourite drinks
Her favourite colour
She love when people touch her hair
She love books
Where she lives
She own 2 cats at home
Almost everything about her

“ Mr.Jung please meet me at  the office after class “

Damn. Now what ?

/teacher’s office/

“ Mr. Jung, I want to ask you a favour. Can you be Ms. Kim tutor for maths ? She’s failed on current test so I think she needed your help since yours are the highest in the class. “

Kim ? Kim Hana ?

“ K-Kim ? “
“ Ah yes. Kim Hana “

Hana. Yes Kim Hana. Her name is Kim Hana. The one that catch my attention. The one that I don’t want to share with others and have her for my own. The one that I madly in love to.

“ Can you help me, Mr. Jung ? “
“ Yes sure “

This is it

“ Jung Daehyun ! “

That voice. That small voice

Oh god. She looked so cute with those rose pink shades creeping on her cute round cheeks

“ Uh umm.. Mrs. Park said that you will be my tutor for maths so.. when can we start ? “
“ When you want to start ? “
“ Oh are you free today ? if you don’t mind, can we start today ? “ Daehyun smiled at her
“ Sure. I’ll wait for you at school gate. Okay ? “ Hana beamed cutely at him.

Here is she
In my room
Doing what I gave her just now
I don’t understand
How can she still look cute while doing this crappy maths thingy
I can’t stop myself from looking at her
The way she will bite her lips when she confused
Her frowned
Oh God why there such a perfect girl like her in this world

“ Urm Daehyun. A little help here ? “
“ Oh I’m sorry “

The sounds of phone ringing echoed the room. It’s Hana’s. Daehyun don’t like the look of Hana’s face when she saw the caller ID. Hana excuse herself to answer the phone.

Who the hell is that ? I’m sure that person going to pay for this.

Hana returned with a smile on her face. Surely Daehyun love that smile. But he hated the fact that the smile was made by someone else. Not him

“ Daehyun can we continue this again tomorrow ? I need to go now. I have something to do “
“ Just go “ Hana was startled by his sudden coldness
“ Uhmm see you tomorrow ? “
Daehyun didn’t even bother to look at her. Hana bit her lips and wondered what she had done to him. After a bow, she exited Daehyun’s house with a feeling slight guilty.

The next day, Hana was found that Daehyun didn’t come to school.

“ Is he still mad at me ? “

In the small room deemed with light from small bulb, there was Byun Baekhyun. Tie up. On the chair.


The boy just chuckled. Looking at helpless Baekhyun tried to escaped himself

“ There no use if you keep struggling. You going to end up hurting yourself instead “
“ I’m gonna report to police once I was out from here “

The boys can help but laughed

“ I’m sorry but they going to find your death body instead “

After past few day, finally I’m back to school. With a smile on my face, most of student who saw me give a weird look. What ? is it wrong for me to smile. Oh and there a news about Byun Baekhyun was found death. Wow that was fast than I thought

Daehyun suddenly stop his step and look at the familiar figure who standing in front of her locker.


Hana closed her locker and heading to her next class but suddenly she stop when she saw Daehyun

“ Daehyun… “

Both of them were sitting on the bench under the tree at their school yard. It was so peaceful there. Because both of them were so quite it only bird sound can be heard.

“ I’m sorry about last time. I shouldn’t acting rude toward you “
Hana held a tight grip on her book.
“ it’s okay. I don’t mind at all “
Daehyun looked at Hana who look like she wanted to cry
“ H-Hey.. are you okay ? “
“ Baek-Baekhyun.. “

Damn. Out of all problem in this world how can you still thinking about Baekhyun

“ I’m so sorry about him. I just know today “

Hana shocked her head still smiling.

“ it’s okay. It’s not your fault though “

Daehyun smirked

Actually it’s was me, sweetheart

“ Can I.. “
“ Hmm ? “
“ Can I stay over at your place today ? “

Daehyun look at her. Shocked with her requested

“ It’s okay if you do- “
“ No ! No. Of course you can “

I don’t know what’s into Hana today but she’s acting kinda weird. Whatever I don’t care about that because now she’s going to be mine since Baekhyun already died.
Yes. Baekhyun is Hana’s boyfriend. How did I know ? Remember when she left my house after she got phone call from someone ? that’s Baekhyun. I followed her after she left my house. Just get to see her hugging with that Byun Bacon. As I said that she’s mine and no one can have her only me !

“ Hey you want something to drink ? “
“ Hot chocolate please “

Hana decide to check on Daehyun’s apartment while waiting for Daehyun to make a drink for them. Since she didn’t got a chance to look around last time. His place was indeed neat for a guy like him. All the furniture was place nicely and there a few pictures were hanging on the wall.

So he lived on his own all this time.

Hana notice a weird room near by the window. She had an urge to enter the room but she had a bad feeling about it. Without thinking plenty times she turned the door knob. The room was dark and maybe small. She reached the switch to turn on the lights.

Oh my God. What is this…

The room was full of her picture. She didn’t even know when was the pictures taken and she keep wondering where did Daehyun got this picture.

“ you shouldn’t be here. “

Hana was startled by his voice. She slowly turned around to meet his gaze.

“ H-how ? “

Daehyun smirked and take a few stepped to Hana.
“ no ! don’t come near me you freak “

Freak ? !

Daehyun keep his step toward Hana and gripped her wrist tightly.

“ No. don’t hurt me “
“ How can I hurt you while I love you so much, hmm ? “

Daehyun hugged Hana. He felt her body trembling. Because of him. Maybe. He pulled away and cupped her face.

“ Open your eyes please “

He whipped Hana’s tear from her cheeks

“ Please “
Slowly, Hana open her eyes. She looked straight into Daehyun’s eyes.

“ You killed Baekhyun, right ? “



He gripped Hana’s shoulder and shook her as he said

“ But you can’t change the fate that he love me too, Daehyun. “
“ Yes I can ! that’s why I killed him “ he chuckled while sobbing
“ I love you Hana. I will do anything to make you love me. “
“ This is not love Daehyun. This is obsession. You don’t know what is love. “  

You are my obsession Cause all of my confession

“ I’m sorry Daehyun but I can’t love you back “

Daehyun stood up and left Hana there.

I have a bad feeling about this. I should leave now

As she exited the room, there Daehyun stood in front of the door. Her eyes drop at the sight of Daehyun’s hand.

“ No Daehyun don’t “
“ I’m sorry Hana. I’m sorry. I don’t want anybody to love you except me “
Hana run to a random room to hide herself.  

“ Why did you hide from me Hana ? I thought we are friends “

“ I wouldn’t do anything that unpleased you “

“ please I’m begging you “

Hell no. I’m over if I do

“ Kim Hana please “

Suddenly, the phone rang. Youngjae’s name was on display.

Shot. What now ?


The phone was taken by Daehyun.

“ Hello?! Hana,are you there?  What did you say ? ”
“ Hey, Youngjae. It’s Daehyun. What’s up? ”
“ What did you do to Hana? ”
“ I’m just practice my acting for the upcoming cultural festival. That’s all, nothing more, nothing less ”
“ Cultural festival ? Whe- “

Daehyun throw Hana’s phone away and he look at Hana that tried to escape herself.

“ I’m sorry baby but I already locked the door “

Hana look back at Daehyun. Looking helpless.

“ Please Daehyun. Let me go. Please I’m begging you “
“ NO ! “

You are my obsession

This is my obsession

“ I’m sorry but I have to do this “

Without thinking twice, Daehyun stabbed Hana. Blood started to dripping from the knife. Hana looked down at the knife and then back to Daehyun. Tears rolled down wetting her flushed cheeks.

“ Dae-Daehyun. Why ? “
“ Because I want your heart. Because this is my obsession. “

Obsession. This is all because of obsession.

“ Love equal obsession, obsession equal love “


It's being a long time isn't ? hihi. I tried my best to write angst story and here the result.
I hope you guys enjoy it ! 

I just made this cutie pie the killer in this story

gif and picture cr to the owner 

Monday, 7 October 2013

D-3: 30 days poem game

so long, mortals.

Day 3- Find the nearest book (of any kind). Turn to page 8. Use the first ten full words on the page in a poem. You may use them in any order, anywhere in the poem.

Sunday, 22 September 2013

the sea

                                                                                                                  do you feel--
                                                                                                           the flowing wave
                                                                                                     the rushing of the sea-tides;
                                                                                               the soft oceans breeze
                                                                                         the smell of refreshing sea?

           did we actually realize
the sea incarnate emotions--
                   we've been missing the whole point of the ocean. 

this picture was taken at Telok Kemang, Kuantan, Malaysia, on Dec 7, 2011

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

D-2: 30 days poem game

Day 2- Who was the last person you texted? Write a five line poem to that person.

*comment your poem down there

Monday, 16 September 2013

D-1: 30 days poem game

rotten smell of nothingness i never did sense,
obscure thin lines i never did see,
bridge that was dying i never did care,
or the faded smile on your face i never did notice.

Day 1- Write a poem where each line starts with a letter from your first name (an acrostic). It can be about anything, but it should not be about you or your name.

*anyone can join the game

Wednesday, 4 September 2013

let's put the blame on gravitation

I was walking down the dusty road, dragging weight, kicking stones and dusts. Then they caught my right foot, I stumbled to the dirty ground, those dusts I once beneath my feet wandered around my face. I pushed myself up against the gravity pull, desperate grunts escaped my bleeding lips. The nasty taste of metal overwhelmed the buds on my tongue. The stinging steps were unbearable. I asked myself if I was going to fall again. That was the last before I was on the ground; crumbling and shattering into pieces, rotting under the peeks of moonlight.

What goes up, comes down.
(Let's put the blame on gravitation.)

Saturday, 31 August 2013

"The Swan" (not original XD)

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air
And armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like
a waterfall
Knifing down black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cloud Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of
the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to 
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?

HI GUYS, it's lexie. ok, so for my first post I decided not to create an original, but just to post something that i found today that I thought would intrigue you xD what are your thoughts? It was read to us (one of the four poems) in my english class today... As soon as I read this I thought about you guys and this blog :D Personally, I enjoyed the bolded line in the poem the best...'shrill dark music' :D ahaha it just ~ well'p i hope you like, peace

Friday, 30 August 2013

One pesky being

"Do you know what I'm thinking right now?"
"What are you thinking?"
"You don't have to force yourself into doing something you don't even have to, you don't have to think of others' feeling. That is what I think."

And I wanted to ask you the same.
Do you know what I was thinking?
I was wrong and I was sorry,
and I was enraged and I was disappointed.

"What do you mean?"
"You don't have to think about me. Both of you have same interests, and I don't. Don't burden yourself to think about my feelings."

I asked myself,
Did she just say that?
I asked myself again,
Did she really think so?

I wished I didn't tell you,
but then I wished you to... I don't even know.

You said you understand,
and instantly, I understand that I made a mistake,
for not thinking before saying.
But that is because I have always tell you things.

I was wrong and I was sorry,
and I was enraged,
and I was and am disappointed.

and I know you were too,
disappointed, that is.

I have done that a lot,
I know I did.

But out of the other things,
You said those.

And what did I reply?


And then you bid your goodbye.

"I'm going to sleep."

And what did I reply?


I was wrong and I was sorry,
and I was enraged,
and I was and am disappointed,
in myself.

I wish you see this,
because I know that you know it too much,
how egoistic I can be.

This may not be the last disappointment.
This may not be the last mistake.

I want you to know, your feelings are and always will be put into account.
But this time I had overlooked, like what I did to our best friend before.

Three of us will always be best friends,
and I will try to remember that till the day my body can no longer do that.
Because forever is beyond infinite,
and I am one fragile creature.

I still sound selfish,
and I noticed.

And I am sorry for being one pesky being.

Sunday, 18 August 2013

untitled (yet)

Hectic as usual and now it's holiday (pfft!).I've got an urge to write this post because someone just ask me about this subject.Still wondering why she asked me when there's still many other people that are better than me.Basically,she just asked a question regarding studies and need some advice on it.That is the main purpose of this post,sharing some thought on education.

Most of us has ambition,right?that's good because you can focus what you want to do with your life (unlike me).Thus, i want to share some thoughts on how important it is to plan for your future.

What to consider when choosing or planning for your future is passion.Yes,i admit it's cliche as hell but it's fact.Since the dawn of mankind,this is what will people tell you every single fucking time.If you guys got a problem like i-have-no-idea-what-i-like-and-i-don't-fucking-care, like me,you can just choose (at least) something that doesn't make you feel miserable while doing it (but not recommended).From my experience,during my days in secondary school i'm an absolute idiot in Biology but fate has been drawn, i got a course that is major in Biology.I don't want to change for another course without even trying,giving up is for losers and i don't want to be one.So,with my average self-esteem i gave it a try.And yup,i'm still struggling with all those new things bung into my 15 centimeters brain.However,the knowledge obtained is priceless and worthwhile.So,it's simple as that.

Are you one of the people that really loves money than actual human being?Well then,welcome to the club.This is one of the purpose for you to study,higher education means higher possibilities of getting a job with a damn high salary.Ouh,you guys want to work and don't want to get that shit education with a corrupt system?Sure you can but this means you have to struggle more than people who has a qualification such as degree and they got a better position in a short period of time.However,this matter is more toward to subjective matter where i think it works both way.
Either you're the one that like to experience by working or you're the one that like to sit your ass down and read the damn books.All that matters when you're facing this kind of period is hard work.And who the hell said that study doesn't need to struggle with those damn assignments?!

I don't think that i need to be very specific and detailed on this matter,you all have brains,you have to use it occasionally like i do.(lulz).Think on what you want to do,plan for it well,execute the plan carefully,harness love in what you're doing (if necessary).Feel free to ask us anything regarding this subject,we will try our best to help you.DON'T forget to pray and seek the blessing from God.

Friday, 16 August 2013


I want to choke you to death
I want you to asphyxiate
I want to choke you to death
I want you to plead
I want to choke you to death
I want you struggle
I want to choke you to death
I want you white
I want to choke you to death
I want you cold
I want to choke you to death
I want to gratify my lust
I want to choke you to death
I want your flesh
I want to choke you to death
I want you dead
But it is still not enough.

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Piece of non-nonchalance

Can I say something?
Can I say something unusual?
Can I say something unusually said?
Can I say something unusually said loudly?

It's something I want.
It's something I want you to listen.
It's something I want you to listen and embrace.

You are a fuckin- ..nevermind.

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Waves and Skin

Shall we go get the sun?

Silent thuds of feet stamping on the sand
One with tangible, playful laugh along the run
One other sways heavy steps

Sea shells crumble
Wounds sting
The burning frictions
The hurting forces

Cold sea
Fierce waves
Abraded dry skin

Splashing sounds of the sea
One with tangible, playful laugh along with the waves
One other stands still

Sea shore crumbles
Wounds sting
The burning frictions
The hurting forces

Cold sea
Fierce waves
Hurting wounded skin

I don't want to

Saturday, 29 June 2013


Actually this is the second attempt of mine writing this damn post...the first one,that lovely internet crash.So,i don't want to rewrite everything and just want to give a brief intro.I'm sharing this just because i think that it's something that we (maybe) have in common,demonstrate in the form of art and music.Slightly softer than the others that i used to hear so yeah,here we go.


Don't you ever feel you're sorry
Don't you ever wish the sky could open up
All I do is going nowhere
And I want to go back home
Don't you know that you're so special
Don't you ever cloud your thoughts like falling rain
Wonder if I'm going somewhere
Still I gotta get back home

Leading me astray
A time will come to pay

Don't you want to know my story
Guess I could explain it if I tried
I don't want to keep expanding
And I'm sorry that I lied

Leading me astray
A time will come to pay

Don't you want to make me over
Don't you feel that everything's a test
Want to disappear inside you
Because that's home I feel the best

Leading me astray
A time will come to pay 

Monday, 17 June 2013

Hey Stellar's materials.

This is posted by referring to this:

The title, Hey Stellar, gives a literal meaning of “Hey star”. I thought of that as a title as it was connected to the meaning of the whole post (which I'm not mentioning it here, perhaps).

I’m not telling the theme or the thing behind the post, you can all interpret it in any way you’d like to.
Anyway, I'm going to give some hints (lol bajet)

As I mentioned before, Stellar gives star as the meaning, so Stellar is one of the stars in the sky. While green is the Earth.

By posting this, I leave it to you to run your imagination and come up with your own view of the post.

(I might post things like this again for the posts that I posted hahaha)

Saturday, 1 June 2013

Hey Stellar

Hey Stellar,

Who am I?

"Green has always hated worms," says Stellar.

Hey Stellar,

I've always hated worms too.

But I'm not Green.

Hey Stellar,

Did you know?

Green can't reach you.

"We can meet at the horizon," says Stellar.

Hey Stellar,

You won't meet Green at the horizon.


Hey Stellar,

Can you see Green fading?


Hey Stellar,

Green is no longer here.


Hey Stellar,

Green can't always see you now.


Hey Stellar,

Green is now no longer Green.

"Who are you?" asks Stellar.

Hey Stellar,

Didn't you know?

I am no longer Green

Wednesday, 15 May 2013

#6 : as time passes by

to accept the fact that as time passes by,
is slowly leaving us.

whether it's with or without goodbyes,

they are leaving us. 

people may say leaving somebody/someone/something is normal.

for me, it is  not.
especially someone that we really love is going to leave us--

let the memories stay. i'll hold them tight. trust me.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

To Us

To my friends and myself:

what we thought are good,
they aren't,
maybe not for us.

what we never even thought we'd get,
it is the best,
maybe for us.

You see,
He knows everything.

All we have to do,
is to go through it,
don't ever forget Him,
and we might find the sweetness we wanted.

Monday, 29 April 2013

under the same umbrella ~

This is my first time posting story here. thanks to someone that can't wait to read my story since last forever. //ehem// anyway I'm sorry if there is any grammar mistake. well human do mistake right ? (︶︹︺) I hope you enjoy with my story. I'm sorry if its kinda bored, fluffy, romantic and make you want to puke rainbows (~ ̄▽ ̄)~

okay lemme introduce you (・∀・ ), the bitch face dude Kris Wu 

and breathing Barbie doll, Nana Im :D
 I ship them. kkk ~ and they were my main characters here :3

and here the cashier boy, Oh Sehun

p/s : I love k-pop ╮(─▽─)╭

so here it is.  Luhan said


 Nana was at the book store to find a new book to read. Nana smile when she find what have been she searching before. “ Finally. Found you. “ After that Nana head to the cashier to pay the books. “ so, you finish collect this series, Nana ? “ Sehun smiled at Nana. Nana and Sehun knew each other since he worked as a cashier there. And she was one of the loyal customer there.  Sometimes you guys hang out together but only as friend. Not more than that. Nana nodded. “ yeah ~ I have been waited for this one you know. “ Sehun rise his brows. “ you such a book worm Nana.” Nana  pouted cutely at him. He chuckled softly and handed the books at Nana. “ now. There you go. Have fun reading it. “ Nana nodded and bid good bye at him before heading out.
Sky looked cloudy and dark. “ oh no. it will be raining soon. “ Nana felt regret for not bringing umbrella with you this morning. “ what should I do now ? “ Nana text her parent to inform them that she will be home a bit late to make sure they not too worried about her. Rain already poured down. After a while, she gazed at the rain pouring, wetting the earth. She held out her hand and felt the rain. “ when will you stop, dear rain ? I want to go home. Or should I just go home now like this ? “ Without thinking twice, she just run in the rain without stop.
There a guy walking alone under umbrella. Suddenly, he felt a figure run thru him. His eyes widened look at the petite figure running in the rain. “ Is she okay ? “ he taught. He looked at the sky. Rain is getting hard now and he eyes drop at the figure back. Seen her getting slow and start to walk back. He quickened his step to her.
“ Hmm ~ it’s already wet now. “ Nana just walking and ignore the rain. Suddenly, she felt the rain stop drop at herself. Nana looked at the front and it still raining. Then she looked up and saw an umbrella above her. Nana looked at her side and saw a guy with smile on his face. She just blinked at him. “ I think you might need an umbrella. So, I’m willing to share with you. “ “ ohh ~ thanks. “ She smiled at him. “ I walked you home then. “ Nana nodded at him.
On their way home, there a lot of things she talked with him. “ so, you want to be writer one day ? “ she’s nodded. “ Because I love reading. It gave me inspiration to be a writer. “ the guy just nodded. “ I hope you can catch your dream. “ “thanks. Oh I think we already near to my house now. “ he look a bit disappointed when he heard that. Before Nana entered her house, she looked at him back. “ by the way, thanks. . . “ “ Kris “ he said with smiled. “ thank you Kris. “ “ no biggy. I just want to help “ she smiled back at him and went inside her house. Kris on his way to his house suddenly forgot about something. “ her name. I forget to ask her name. aish ~ Kris you stupid. “ Kris continue his step back.
It has have been a week after the day you met with Kris. Sometime, Nana felt like want to see him again. But she felt weird when she thought about it back.  There was she at the book store again to search for a new book. When Nana found what she wanted, Nana head to the cashier but instead she was bumped into someone. All the books that she held fell on the floor. “ I’m sorry I should look. . Kris ? “ he look at her with a smiled. “ hey ~ we meet again. “ he help Nana to pick all the books and hand at her back. “ what are you doing here ? “ “ well you see. . to find some book to read. “ Nana just made ‘o’ shape with her mouth. “ how about you ? “ “ ermm. . same with you. “ Nana flash him sweet smile. He rubbed his neck and look at Nana. “ is something wrong ? “ “ well. I’m wonder. . “ Nana titled her head and look at him. “ hmm ? “ Kris keep rubbed his neck because too nervous. “ your name. You haven’t told me your name yet. “ Suddenly she remember. Yes. She didn’t told him her name yet. “ I’m sorry. “ Kris looked straight into her eyes. “ for what ? “ “ for not telling you my name silly. by the way. “ Nana held her free hand out “ nice to meet you. My name is Nana Im “ She said with smiled. He chuckled softly at Nana and held her hand to shake. “ Nice to meet you too, Nana. I’m Kris Wu by the way. “ Both of you now laughing. “ wow ~ are you Chinese ? “ Kris nodded. “ no wonder “ Both of you went to the cashier to pay the books. “ Hana ~ there will be new books arrived next week. You might not missed it, okay ? “ Sehun winked at you. You smiled and nodded at him. After that you went out from the shop with Kris. Nana frowned when she looked at the sky. “ again ? I forgot to bring my umbrella again. “ Kris chuckled. “ it’s okay. I bring mine. “ She chuckled softly. “ you are my life saver, Kris. “ both you start to walked home.
While walking home, Kris kept stole a glance at Nana. She noticed it. “ is there something on my face, Kris ? “ Kris smiled. “ I notice something on your face. “ Nana touched her face. “ what is it ? “ Kris chuckled softly then leaned on. “ you are so pretty, you know that ? “ he flash Nana a sweet smile that make her blush. Nana puffed and held her cheek. ‘ oh my god ~ my face burning now. ‘ Kris chuckled and then both of you continue walked home. When arrived at Nana’s house, she thanked him and wanted to get inside her house. “ Nana ~ “ she look at Kris back. He came near her. Nana’s heart pounding in each step that he did. “ By any chance, can we meet again after this ? “ now, Nana felt her heart racing again. Nana just smiled and nodded at him. He smiled in relief. Again Nana want to get in the house but Kris pulled her back. She was shocked when she felt his lips on her. ‘ He. . he kiss me. ‘ Nana close her eyes as she kiss him back. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on her. Nana can felt his hot breath on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes. She was breathless because his face was so close to her. “ I love you. “ her knees become weak when heard that word out from his lips. “ I love you, Nana. “  Nana closed her eyes back and her nose touched with him. “ I love you too “ Kris smiled. He hugged her. “ you want to know something ? “ Nana look up at him. “ actually, I already notice you before. “ “ you mean ? “ he held her hand. “ yeah. Reading books at the book store. Walk home alone. “ Nana widened her eyes. “ so, you stalked me ? “ Nana try to tease him. His eyes widened and shook his hand. “ No. it just. . Yeah. You know. I was too shy to approach you. “ He rubbed his neck. She let out soft chuckle at him. “ But. Now. . “ He wrapped his hand around Nana’s wrist and leaned into her ear. “ I got you in my hand “ He whispered with his husky voice. Slowly Nana pushed him. He looked at her with worry face. Nana looked at him with sweet smile. “ How about meeting with my parent ? They will be pleasure to meet you. “

Wondering ; Pondering

I'm not good in introducing myself nor making an intro for this post in particular so I'll just go straight dead to the point.This may or may not interest you,so read with caution.First,let me ask you,what terrifies you the most? I mean REALLY terrifies you,something that will send you to the asylum just by thinking about it and not just like some fucking lizard or other pest.Is it death? Is it some people, psychopath? Or is it the world itself?

If you ask, why would someone be afraid of the world? I'd say why wouldn't they? You see, the content of the world is terrifying. Humans to be specific, are the most intelligent species that exist in this world yet the most destructive and nefarious species that ever lived. Human has long lost from its main purposes, which are to take care of each other, be good among us regardless with other human beings or with the flora and fauna. Somehow, human changed overtime. Something or somewhat made them change to a brutal, violent and indestructible from making any more destruction. Before you mocking me further more with this fucked up opinion of mine, let me elaborate. I asked myself the question why, why do they act like such? Money, power, attention(probably) and the greediness that lurking inside of them that had made a turning point from an ideal human being to a beast. Some say it’s evolution. Well, fuck that.

 If evolution by any means to destroy ecosystem just to sustain our existence, I staunchly against it. If not, do correct me. We have done much destruction to the Mother Nature which eventually will effects us in the future. I need not to say about it, you guys know it well enough what will happen if this prolong.

My friend once said to me that humans are alike parasites. That turned out to be true after all…an ugly truth. I've read an article from a local newspaper that there’s a group of people that have signed up for a mission to Mars. This is not just ordinary space traveling to Mars or Mars expedition. These people had sign up for the mission to live until they are dead at Mars. What a perfect way to die. I mean, what do these scientists and the people want to achieve with this mission? That we can live there even after apocalypse strikes Earth? Then, we can extend the human fucking race? Send some fucking human there, let them make love there and reproduce there. Voila! We make a new generation of Marsling. Seriously?

In this world alone, we have enough problems. Wouldn't it be more problems if we decide to go there? Will it solve the problems that we have now? Not just the Earth will be destroyed by us but also Mars. Thus, do yourself a favor and die when the time comes. Please don’t make yourself live longer as it may bring you more problems and burdens.

Friday, 26 April 2013


Everybody sees the blemishes.
Everybody says noxious words.
Everybody points their talons of blame.

Nobody would know.
Nobody would understand.
Nobody would even try to.

How do they feel.
How do they go through.

They know someday it will happen again.
The resurrection of their bleeding souls.
Gory and bloody.

Everybody keeps binding "it is not my fault" on their fucking heads.
Bleeding souls fly and leave the bodies behind.
The pain vanished away.
Wearing sparkling smiles.

They are now free.

Though the pain is gone.
They are still scars and bruises.
The pain in their heart.
The memories can never be erased.

There are always buts.

You know who'd deny their fouls.
Always, everybody.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

#5 : crying like a baby

sup guys? are you having a good day? are you? are you? jyeah, it's always been a pleasure to hear that! stay calm and positive :)

so, like what i've said in previous post, you should have know that i don't really have talents to write stories or whatsoever; so i'm just gonna write about common things around us. 

lately around this week it's been quite a though time for me, so yeah. i'm kinda stressed out, and sometimes i run out off mood suddenly without no signs. no, it's not PMS. it's just that mood you have to face when you have to handle insane amount of things in just one week.

i'm not kinda person that can handle many things as simple as snapping your fingers and tadaa, move on to the next mission. no. i'm not that kinda person. i might say i'm a quite a bit slow person, not really slow, i always take my sweet times doing something. 
my average time taking bath is 30 minutes. don't ask me what i'm doing in my shower room. i'm thinking about my future, dude. come on. 
plus, i might have OCD because i always brush my teeth averagely twice, shampooing my hair averagely twice, and applying shower cream all over my body averagely twice.
and freaking yeah, that's how i'm working.   

that intro is way too long, i'm sorry. let's jump to the story. i'm gonna write about CRYING.
firstly, i'm wanna apologise to robo and damon, because this post kinda a little bit personal, it's just came across to my mind to write about this in english. 

so, i don't really likes to cry. it's like.. i don't cry. now that's a lie. 

it's been a long time i didn't cry, and now i feels like i wanna cry for some reasons but there ain't any reasons for me to cry. 

we've been indoctrinated by quotes around our timeline in twitter, in blogs, in facebook, tumblr, yada yada yada, that crying might helps to release stress.

ya, sometimes i do feels like i wanna cry, but i don't. it's like, my tears is stuck in my eyes, it won't come out. i only knew that i really have tears when i'm yawning, and my tears are running like crazy, like seriously. well, that's one of the facts that i hate to watch sad movies because when i'm yawning in between the movie they actually thought that i'm crying. 
no, i'm not. 

sometimes when i sleep, i really wish i'll cry all out in my dreams. it happens once, i have no idea what that dream was about, ended up i woke up; sobbing.

am i a freak?

Saturday, 13 April 2013

#4 : knock the door, please?

this post has been rated for 18 years and above due too violent and harsh language. thank you.

hiya, good morning readers, may you have a good day today, stay calm and brace the violent language.

so.. guys and girls. TBH, i have no idea what to write about. i don't write poems in english, i'm suck at it. i don't read books, so i don't know what books to review about.


no. someone has just opened my room's door without knocking it first ._.

now i really have something to write about.

i'm gonna write about this in general contact, not personally attacking someone. whatever, but what is wrong with those people who doesn't know how to knock door first before entering someone's room? all of us; it doesn't matter if you're the predators not to knock the door before entering someone' s room and doesn't care about others privacy, or the preys who always concerned about knocking doors and the privacy, it's the time for all of us to know about this. the main reason why the hell it's made of wood is to ease you to make a knock knock tragic joke since forever.

(using caps lock to death, angry bitch is coming)

wait.. that's too much.

now that's not the point. that's kinda in tensing ads for you.

rooms is privacy. that's the place where you study, reading books, changing clothes, sleeps, blablabla.
now tell me, if you, yes you, the predator; you are still taking your sweet times naked before put on  any clothes on you and someone enters your room, and what the heck is gonna happens next?

and why the heck you didn't lock the door, eh?

we're human. there will be sometimes when we are not able to find where the fuck is your spectacles even you're wearing it on that time. or.. maybe that's only me having that?
bad instance!
let's say you've forgot to lock the door, and that's the situation.
that's the lesson for you, the predator.

please dearest people, both the preys and the predators, if you wanna take your naked time before put on any clothes, just make sure your room is locked. you don't wanna feel awkward to be with a person who already saw you naked, and ended up you killed yourself with suicidal notes. please, no.

to everybody;

p/s : this post is totally crap. bad language, i should feel bad. please, using harsh and violent words doesn;t improve your english anyway, but satisfaction is guaranteed.

Thursday, 4 April 2013


"And you feel... alive?" she asked.

"Of course."


I woke up, bathing the penetrating noon's sunlight from the naked window. My shoulders and my back were aching from weaving the blackout dream on the floor, but it was a better day than the day before.

I had finished the irritating blue bird drawing-- as a graphic designer, I had to design graphics based on requests which weren't usually subjective. Those "I want this- I want that- put this here- put that there-" bullshits were sickening! And they said that I could strive my creativity? What a joke.
I loved art, I had always love art. Art meant freedom and doing what I was doing weren't art, it was a mere job. Art was not obligated to bullshits they call project, assignment, or request. Heck, I had to still do it for cash.

There was once when I was a newbie-- fresh and stupid. I was assigned to make a banner, I forgot what was the banner for but I did it with passion and art. Then they said it was "too explicitly raw" and "not meeting the criteria of the request".  And I thought exploitation was a problem. They care only for the sizes-- the bigger, the better (more money). It was always about those printed papers. Always.

I stood by the window, watching the shadows of the walking kids. Shadows reminded me of my in-the-making artwork in the special room, which I need to work on. I grabbed my sweater and walked out of the front door of my house.
Art is subjective. So as beauty. Beauty is art and art is beauty. Art is filthy, dingy, drab, lame, and etcetera. Filthy wasn't always bad, same goes to the others. It was also a matter of perspective and taste. I find their tastes suck, they find mine sucks-- fair enough, although the latter was stupid.
I felt some disgusted glares burning on my skin. They didn't realise that they were as much as greasy as I looked-- but let them live in their delusional world.
Wires, black paints and paint brushes-- finally I can continue on my artwork.

A month, I took a month to finish it. But it needed some final touch; the liveliness.


"How is it that the room you painted black and the murders in that room made you feel alive?" she asked, again.

"My art is alive. I am art and art is me."