Tuesday, 30 April 2013

To Us

To my friends and myself:

what we thought are good,
they aren't,
maybe not for us.

what we never even thought we'd get,
it is the best,
maybe for us.

You see,
He knows everything.

All we have to do,
is to go through it,
don't ever forget Him,
and we might find the sweetness we wanted.

Monday, 29 April 2013

under the same umbrella ~

This is my first time posting story here. thanks to someone that can't wait to read my story since last forever. //ehem// anyway I'm sorry if there is any grammar mistake. well human do mistake right ? (︶︹︺) I hope you enjoy with my story. I'm sorry if its kinda bored, fluffy, romantic and make you want to puke rainbows (~ ̄▽ ̄)~

okay lemme introduce you (・∀・ ), the bitch face dude Kris Wu 

and breathing Barbie doll, Nana Im :D
 I ship them. kkk ~ and they were my main characters here :3

and here the cashier boy, Oh Sehun

p/s : I love k-pop ╮(─▽─)╭

so here it is.  Luhan said


 Nana was at the book store to find a new book to read. Nana smile when she find what have been she searching before. “ Finally. Found you. “ After that Nana head to the cashier to pay the books. “ so, you finish collect this series, Nana ? “ Sehun smiled at Nana. Nana and Sehun knew each other since he worked as a cashier there. And she was one of the loyal customer there.  Sometimes you guys hang out together but only as friend. Not more than that. Nana nodded. “ yeah ~ I have been waited for this one you know. “ Sehun rise his brows. “ you such a book worm Nana.” Nana  pouted cutely at him. He chuckled softly and handed the books at Nana. “ now. There you go. Have fun reading it. “ Nana nodded and bid good bye at him before heading out.
Sky looked cloudy and dark. “ oh no. it will be raining soon. “ Nana felt regret for not bringing umbrella with you this morning. “ what should I do now ? “ Nana text her parent to inform them that she will be home a bit late to make sure they not too worried about her. Rain already poured down. After a while, she gazed at the rain pouring, wetting the earth. She held out her hand and felt the rain. “ when will you stop, dear rain ? I want to go home. Or should I just go home now like this ? “ Without thinking twice, she just run in the rain without stop.
There a guy walking alone under umbrella. Suddenly, he felt a figure run thru him. His eyes widened look at the petite figure running in the rain. “ Is she okay ? “ he taught. He looked at the sky. Rain is getting hard now and he eyes drop at the figure back. Seen her getting slow and start to walk back. He quickened his step to her.
“ Hmm ~ it’s already wet now. “ Nana just walking and ignore the rain. Suddenly, she felt the rain stop drop at herself. Nana looked at the front and it still raining. Then she looked up and saw an umbrella above her. Nana looked at her side and saw a guy with smile on his face. She just blinked at him. “ I think you might need an umbrella. So, I’m willing to share with you. “ “ ohh ~ thanks. “ She smiled at him. “ I walked you home then. “ Nana nodded at him.
On their way home, there a lot of things she talked with him. “ so, you want to be writer one day ? “ she’s nodded. “ Because I love reading. It gave me inspiration to be a writer. “ the guy just nodded. “ I hope you can catch your dream. “ “thanks. Oh I think we already near to my house now. “ he look a bit disappointed when he heard that. Before Nana entered her house, she looked at him back. “ by the way, thanks. . . “ “ Kris “ he said with smiled. “ thank you Kris. “ “ no biggy. I just want to help “ she smiled back at him and went inside her house. Kris on his way to his house suddenly forgot about something. “ her name. I forget to ask her name. aish ~ Kris you stupid. “ Kris continue his step back.
It has have been a week after the day you met with Kris. Sometime, Nana felt like want to see him again. But she felt weird when she thought about it back.  There was she at the book store again to search for a new book. When Nana found what she wanted, Nana head to the cashier but instead she was bumped into someone. All the books that she held fell on the floor. “ I’m sorry I should look. . Kris ? “ he look at her with a smiled. “ hey ~ we meet again. “ he help Nana to pick all the books and hand at her back. “ what are you doing here ? “ “ well you see. . to find some book to read. “ Nana just made ‘o’ shape with her mouth. “ how about you ? “ “ ermm. . same with you. “ Nana flash him sweet smile. He rubbed his neck and look at Nana. “ is something wrong ? “ “ well. I’m wonder. . “ Nana titled her head and look at him. “ hmm ? “ Kris keep rubbed his neck because too nervous. “ your name. You haven’t told me your name yet. “ Suddenly she remember. Yes. She didn’t told him her name yet. “ I’m sorry. “ Kris looked straight into her eyes. “ for what ? “ “ for not telling you my name silly. by the way. “ Nana held her free hand out “ nice to meet you. My name is Nana Im “ She said with smiled. He chuckled softly at Nana and held her hand to shake. “ Nice to meet you too, Nana. I’m Kris Wu by the way. “ Both of you now laughing. “ wow ~ are you Chinese ? “ Kris nodded. “ no wonder “ Both of you went to the cashier to pay the books. “ Hana ~ there will be new books arrived next week. You might not missed it, okay ? “ Sehun winked at you. You smiled and nodded at him. After that you went out from the shop with Kris. Nana frowned when she looked at the sky. “ again ? I forgot to bring my umbrella again. “ Kris chuckled. “ it’s okay. I bring mine. “ She chuckled softly. “ you are my life saver, Kris. “ both you start to walked home.
While walking home, Kris kept stole a glance at Nana. She noticed it. “ is there something on my face, Kris ? “ Kris smiled. “ I notice something on your face. “ Nana touched her face. “ what is it ? “ Kris chuckled softly then leaned on. “ you are so pretty, you know that ? “ he flash Nana a sweet smile that make her blush. Nana puffed and held her cheek. ‘ oh my god ~ my face burning now. ‘ Kris chuckled and then both of you continue walked home. When arrived at Nana’s house, she thanked him and wanted to get inside her house. “ Nana ~ “ she look at Kris back. He came near her. Nana’s heart pounding in each step that he did. “ By any chance, can we meet again after this ? “ now, Nana felt her heart racing again. Nana just smiled and nodded at him. He smiled in relief. Again Nana want to get in the house but Kris pulled her back. She was shocked when she felt his lips on her. ‘ He. . he kiss me. ‘ Nana close her eyes as she kiss him back. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead on her. Nana can felt his hot breath on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes. She was breathless because his face was so close to her. “ I love you. “ her knees become weak when heard that word out from his lips. “ I love you, Nana. “  Nana closed her eyes back and her nose touched with him. “ I love you too “ Kris smiled. He hugged her. “ you want to know something ? “ Nana look up at him. “ actually, I already notice you before. “ “ you mean ? “ he held her hand. “ yeah. Reading books at the book store. Walk home alone. “ Nana widened her eyes. “ so, you stalked me ? “ Nana try to tease him. His eyes widened and shook his hand. “ No. it just. . Yeah. You know. I was too shy to approach you. “ He rubbed his neck. She let out soft chuckle at him. “ But. Now. . “ He wrapped his hand around Nana’s wrist and leaned into her ear. “ I got you in my hand “ He whispered with his husky voice. Slowly Nana pushed him. He looked at her with worry face. Nana looked at him with sweet smile. “ How about meeting with my parent ? They will be pleasure to meet you. “

Wondering ; Pondering

I'm not good in introducing myself nor making an intro for this post in particular so I'll just go straight dead to the point.This may or may not interest you,so read with caution.First,let me ask you,what terrifies you the most? I mean REALLY terrifies you,something that will send you to the asylum just by thinking about it and not just like some fucking lizard or other pest.Is it death? Is it some people, psychopath? Or is it the world itself?

If you ask, why would someone be afraid of the world? I'd say why wouldn't they? You see, the content of the world is terrifying. Humans to be specific, are the most intelligent species that exist in this world yet the most destructive and nefarious species that ever lived. Human has long lost from its main purposes, which are to take care of each other, be good among us regardless with other human beings or with the flora and fauna. Somehow, human changed overtime. Something or somewhat made them change to a brutal, violent and indestructible from making any more destruction. Before you mocking me further more with this fucked up opinion of mine, let me elaborate. I asked myself the question why, why do they act like such? Money, power, attention(probably) and the greediness that lurking inside of them that had made a turning point from an ideal human being to a beast. Some say it’s evolution. Well, fuck that.

 If evolution by any means to destroy ecosystem just to sustain our existence, I staunchly against it. If not, do correct me. We have done much destruction to the Mother Nature which eventually will effects us in the future. I need not to say about it, you guys know it well enough what will happen if this prolong.

My friend once said to me that humans are alike parasites. That turned out to be true after all…an ugly truth. I've read an article from a local newspaper that there’s a group of people that have signed up for a mission to Mars. This is not just ordinary space traveling to Mars or Mars expedition. These people had sign up for the mission to live until they are dead at Mars. What a perfect way to die. I mean, what do these scientists and the people want to achieve with this mission? That we can live there even after apocalypse strikes Earth? Then, we can extend the human fucking race? Send some fucking human there, let them make love there and reproduce there. Voila! We make a new generation of Marsling. Seriously?

In this world alone, we have enough problems. Wouldn't it be more problems if we decide to go there? Will it solve the problems that we have now? Not just the Earth will be destroyed by us but also Mars. Thus, do yourself a favor and die when the time comes. Please don’t make yourself live longer as it may bring you more problems and burdens.

Friday, 26 April 2013


Everybody sees the blemishes.
Everybody says noxious words.
Everybody points their talons of blame.

Nobody would know.
Nobody would understand.
Nobody would even try to.

How do they feel.
How do they go through.

They know someday it will happen again.
The resurrection of their bleeding souls.
Gory and bloody.

Everybody keeps binding "it is not my fault" on their fucking heads.
Bleeding souls fly and leave the bodies behind.
The pain vanished away.
Wearing sparkling smiles.

They are now free.

Though the pain is gone.
They are still scars and bruises.
The pain in their heart.
The memories can never be erased.

There are always buts.

You know who'd deny their fouls.
Always, everybody.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

#5 : crying like a baby

sup guys? are you having a good day? are you? are you? jyeah, it's always been a pleasure to hear that! stay calm and positive :)

so, like what i've said in previous post, you should have know that i don't really have talents to write stories or whatsoever; so i'm just gonna write about common things around us. 

lately around this week it's been quite a though time for me, so yeah. i'm kinda stressed out, and sometimes i run out off mood suddenly without no signs. no, it's not PMS. it's just that mood you have to face when you have to handle insane amount of things in just one week.

i'm not kinda person that can handle many things as simple as snapping your fingers and tadaa, move on to the next mission. no. i'm not that kinda person. i might say i'm a quite a bit slow person, not really slow, i always take my sweet times doing something. 
my average time taking bath is 30 minutes. don't ask me what i'm doing in my shower room. i'm thinking about my future, dude. come on. 
plus, i might have OCD because i always brush my teeth averagely twice, shampooing my hair averagely twice, and applying shower cream all over my body averagely twice.
and freaking yeah, that's how i'm working.   

that intro is way too long, i'm sorry. let's jump to the story. i'm gonna write about CRYING.
firstly, i'm wanna apologise to robo and damon, because this post kinda a little bit personal, it's just came across to my mind to write about this in english. 

so, i don't really likes to cry. it's like.. i don't cry. now that's a lie. 

it's been a long time i didn't cry, and now i feels like i wanna cry for some reasons but there ain't any reasons for me to cry. 

we've been indoctrinated by quotes around our timeline in twitter, in blogs, in facebook, tumblr, yada yada yada, that crying might helps to release stress.

ya, sometimes i do feels like i wanna cry, but i don't. it's like, my tears is stuck in my eyes, it won't come out. i only knew that i really have tears when i'm yawning, and my tears are running like crazy, like seriously. well, that's one of the facts that i hate to watch sad movies because when i'm yawning in between the movie they actually thought that i'm crying. 
no, i'm not. 

sometimes when i sleep, i really wish i'll cry all out in my dreams. it happens once, i have no idea what that dream was about, ended up i woke up; sobbing.

am i a freak?

Saturday, 13 April 2013

#4 : knock the door, please?

this post has been rated for 18 years and above due too violent and harsh language. thank you.

hiya, good morning readers, may you have a good day today, stay calm and brace the violent language.

so.. guys and girls. TBH, i have no idea what to write about. i don't write poems in english, i'm suck at it. i don't read books, so i don't know what books to review about.


no. someone has just opened my room's door without knocking it first ._.

now i really have something to write about.

i'm gonna write about this in general contact, not personally attacking someone. whatever, but what is wrong with those people who doesn't know how to knock door first before entering someone's room? all of us; it doesn't matter if you're the predators not to knock the door before entering someone' s room and doesn't care about others privacy, or the preys who always concerned about knocking doors and the privacy, it's the time for all of us to know about this. the main reason why the hell it's made of wood is to ease you to make a knock knock tragic joke since forever.

(using caps lock to death, angry bitch is coming)

wait.. that's too much.

now that's not the point. that's kinda in tensing ads for you.

rooms is privacy. that's the place where you study, reading books, changing clothes, sleeps, blablabla.
now tell me, if you, yes you, the predator; you are still taking your sweet times naked before put on  any clothes on you and someone enters your room, and what the heck is gonna happens next?

and why the heck you didn't lock the door, eh?

we're human. there will be sometimes when we are not able to find where the fuck is your spectacles even you're wearing it on that time. or.. maybe that's only me having that?
bad instance!
let's say you've forgot to lock the door, and that's the situation.
that's the lesson for you, the predator.

please dearest people, both the preys and the predators, if you wanna take your naked time before put on any clothes, just make sure your room is locked. you don't wanna feel awkward to be with a person who already saw you naked, and ended up you killed yourself with suicidal notes. please, no.

to everybody;

p/s : this post is totally crap. bad language, i should feel bad. please, using harsh and violent words doesn;t improve your english anyway, but satisfaction is guaranteed.

Thursday, 4 April 2013


"And you feel... alive?" she asked.

"Of course."


I woke up, bathing the penetrating noon's sunlight from the naked window. My shoulders and my back were aching from weaving the blackout dream on the floor, but it was a better day than the day before.

I had finished the irritating blue bird drawing-- as a graphic designer, I had to design graphics based on requests which weren't usually subjective. Those "I want this- I want that- put this here- put that there-" bullshits were sickening! And they said that I could strive my creativity? What a joke.
I loved art, I had always love art. Art meant freedom and doing what I was doing weren't art, it was a mere job. Art was not obligated to bullshits they call project, assignment, or request. Heck, I had to still do it for cash.

There was once when I was a newbie-- fresh and stupid. I was assigned to make a banner, I forgot what was the banner for but I did it with passion and art. Then they said it was "too explicitly raw" and "not meeting the criteria of the request".  And I thought exploitation was a problem. They care only for the sizes-- the bigger, the better (more money). It was always about those printed papers. Always.

I stood by the window, watching the shadows of the walking kids. Shadows reminded me of my in-the-making artwork in the special room, which I need to work on. I grabbed my sweater and walked out of the front door of my house.
Art is subjective. So as beauty. Beauty is art and art is beauty. Art is filthy, dingy, drab, lame, and etcetera. Filthy wasn't always bad, same goes to the others. It was also a matter of perspective and taste. I find their tastes suck, they find mine sucks-- fair enough, although the latter was stupid.
I felt some disgusted glares burning on my skin. They didn't realise that they were as much as greasy as I looked-- but let them live in their delusional world.
Wires, black paints and paint brushes-- finally I can continue on my artwork.

A month, I took a month to finish it. But it needed some final touch; the liveliness.


"How is it that the room you painted black and the murders in that room made you feel alive?" she asked, again.

"My art is alive. I am art and art is me."

Monday, 1 April 2013

Damn Joke

He cursed out loud. The growling horns, stationary traffic since half an hour before and the air conditioner he barely feel-- all enough for him to just lose his mind and rant all the week about it.
He had been repeating the "f" word while punching the steering wheel and at some time he punched the horn, long and loud. He didn't know what happened ahead of the stuck cars, but he wanted whateverthefuck it was to be cleared fast-- he had his own shits to handle at the moment, he questioned why must this happen today, rather specifically, at that moment. He needed to be by his wife's side during the labour; he didn't want to miss it and let his dearest wife to face it alone, he promised her.

The traffic started to move, slow but it wasn't enough. And he, on the other hand, wasn't so stupid to left his car in the middle of the road as most people did in movies. His phone was already dead before he was stuck in the traffic jam, which added the spice; making his sweat pores to produce countless sweat in every second and every breath he took.
He felt useless-- he didn't want this one promise to be broken as the other promises he made before but it seemed that the world was against him. Was it karma? He had never believed in it, neither he had thought of it before. If so, what did I do? He devoted himself to his piling projects and paperwork. It was to give her a better life-- though he didn't see much progress in their economy. That made him worked even harder, came home even later and losing his temper even faster. He had once hit her-- and he didn't even notice; it happened too fast.
What a damn joke. My life, that is.


Slow thumps of footsteps echoed in the hallway. A man drenched in sweat, looking as worried as ever, walked real fast. He felt his heart beated faster than his steps, so he walked faster, as if he was racing his own heartbeats.

"Doctor! How's my wife and the baby?"
"She had several complications, as you acknowledged that when you last checked; there were risks."
No. I didn't know that...
"How are my wife and my baby doing, then?"
"They are fine... You may see them."

He pulled the door, hard and fast. He expected his beautiful wife holding their beautiful baby. She might be upset a bit so he took a deep breath-- only to see a pool of blood, dead machines and dead bodies.

"April fool! HAHAHAHA!"

That was when he fell to the ground.