Tuesday, 15 April 2014


She is special.
In more ways than one. Mentally handicapped. But she lives like a normal person. She eats, go to school,get tired, sleep. She has feelings. It's just that, she behaves like a child, even if she is well past 21 years of age. When she was born, the doctors said she'd be a slow learner. Had autism or some sort of mental handicap. It didn't hinder mum and dad from giving her proper education.
She's a bit bad with maths and sciences, but she makes it up with language. She had plenty of ideas for stories inside her head. I remember when she was so caught up with making sprite comics and role-playing with her friends all over the world. Her comics were a bit funny too. She still does it till this day.

She is the apple of mum and dad's eyes.
The amount of love she receives from them is limitless, to me at least. She's treated like glass. She would shed a tear at the slightest of angry shouts towards her. She would still cry even though it is directed at other people. She gets away with anything. Anything.
When there is a chore to be done, I would be the one to do it rather than her. I know it's not her fault and I didn't really care who has to do it, but sometimes, it's just too unfair.

In elementary school......
I had to take care of her since I was the more capable one. It was easy at first as she was in a different class than me. She undergoes the Special Education class and I was in the normal ones.
During my Standard 4, her teacher decide to put her in my class so that she would be prepared for the important exam which will be taken during Standard 6 with me.

Well, you know how the majority of people would reject or isolate something that is beyond their understanding, right? That is exactly what we had to endure. To the still young me, it was a bit like hell. The boys would call her names like 'stupid' or 'retard' while the girls just kept quiet. They would even make fun of my dad's name just to spite us. I hated it. I hate them from the bottom of my heart. I didn't bat an eye towards them knowing that they just want attention, but then it escalated too much that I couldn't stand it any longer. I even cried several times enduring it. My sister is still human despite being handicapped, she has feelings. Human feelings.

"She's not an alien, you bunch of idiots!" I vaguely remember having a heated, childish argument with the boys (in which they started it first) and punching one of them. It was refreshing. Served them right. Hahaha.
We each went to different secondary school after Standard 6. I felt a little relieved knowing that I won't have to take care of her anymore. I am so ugly. No, this is beyond ugly. It's hideous. When I think about it carefully, I guess I am just envious that she gets more of the special treatment from our parents. I hope she'd never get to know the ugly me. I highly doubt it.

If you were to ask me if I hate or love her, I might say both. I am conflicted. Although she is tough to handle, she's still my sister. She has her good and bad points. Maybe in the near future, I'll come to love her more than hating her.
She still gets on my nerves though.

Saturday, 12 April 2014

Really, she said.

I remember the time when my friend once said "I actually am some sort of a psychic."

"Really?" I then asked. I was curious, really.

"Really," she answered.

I remember I felt a little afraid if it was true -- and if she heard me at that moment.

She just smiled and no words from her till a bus stopped in front of us.

"Goodbye," she said.

I remember it was the last day of school for that year.

and I hadn't heard any words from her then.

I remember how I heard that two syllables word again at some time after the last one.

I remember how she said it.


It was full of sorrow.

I remember I said something too.

Goodbye, my friend.

I remember drowning in her dark -- sad eyes.

I remember smiling victoriously.

Smiling at the dead in front of me.

I remember the time when my friend once said "I actually am some sort of a psychic."

"Really?" I then asked.

I guess she lied.

I guess she didn't hear me.

She must have lied.