Provocative

It's been too long,far too long.Haven't been properly taking care of myself.It's all going to be waste anyway.
Just how much time left?All these is starting to crumble on my feet.It's unbearable.Ain't got no one to hold on this time.Why need one?

How does it feel to lie down here?Can I?Will you let me do so?Is it hurt?Why aren't you speaking to me?
Hah,too much questions eh?Look,it's another one.

This will over soon,any last word?Wait,there is no one here will hear it,remember.No one. It's ok,soon I will be reunited.Reunited? With who?

No voice,no mouth,tongue...don't even mention it.Why me?Why they created me?oh god.God...my god is a human.I'm just an experiment.Or another.Cylindrical tube filled with nutritious element for my crippled body.

I'm dysfunctional.They just keep on staring at my crippled naked body.Doing nothing as one by one of my body crumbling.It is already come to their senses that it is a failure.No,they won't help,they won't even care,they won't even...fix.Hah,what a joke.

Ordinary Thunderstorm

Hi guys. Yuki here. It's my first time writing for a blog so do pardon my mistakes.

For my first post, I'm going to do a book review, seeing as I rarely read books or novels. All I ever read are mangas for that matter. I blame my brother for that. Haha.

The novel  is entitled Ordinary Thunderstorm by William Boyd. It has very interesting themes, filled with thriller,comedy and whatnot. The story is about Adam Kindred, a young climatologist who had his life turned upside down as a result of a chance encounter and a split-second decision set in modern day London. His home, job, reputation, passport, money- basically everything had been lost. He had been wrongly accused, obviously, of murdering a Philip Wang, who was actually holding a secret crucial in the pharmaceutical world. In a panic, he took the secret files entrusted by Phillip and decided to go underground in hiding until things calm down. But, he was not really safe as the real murderer,a hired hitman was also chasing after him, other than the Metropolitan Police. So begins his adventurous life as he encounters people from all walks of life (aristocrats, priests, prostitutes and a policewoman).

Throughout the story, the characters develop quite slowly at first but it came out fine. Adam showed great progress in adapting to all the crisis he had, which is pretty awesome, I'd say. He had neat survival skills too. Constructing a strategic secret hideout, went under a disguise, scraping for enough food (in which he killed a seagull and barbequed the poor bird),conning other people, joining some religious cult and all sorts of crazy things that you would never imagine doing just to survive. Kinda terrifying if I were to live like that as it may happen to any of us.
When I think of London, I'd imagine a place with an air of elegance, people having tea out in the streets,scones and having daily conversation with that sexy British accent. Hehehe, just normal things right? But the story shows the other side of London that we (me, in particular) never had a clue about.

The novel is a pretty good read. I would recommend it for people who want to start reading thriller novels because it's a bit mild in my opinion.
So yeah, I had a great time reading it so far.Obviously i haven't finished it yet but yeah,you got the point,right?

P/S : It's kinda R15/R18 ish so be careful. Don't say I didn't warn you :3

The cover of the book.

Enjoy your day :D

привет

It's been long since i wrote a delicate post,my English and grammar level dropped dramatically nowadays.And here i am again, ranting shits that are happening around me while i'm hibernating.

A few weeks ago,i've read about kettles...nope,it's not an ordinary kettle you might find in shops at the electrical appliances section.It was 'Made in China'(which didn't surprise me), which contains some sort of microchip that can transmit information.Sooo totally Kettle!pfft,sorry for my bad joke.This kettle will spy on you,literally know what you've been up to,what you usually surf on the net,maybe.I don't have that many knowledge on what it's capable of but its certainly using your wifi to work.If i accidentally bought this kettle,brought it home,use it to make some really awesome tea with maybe some danish cookies to dip in the tea with and probably some scones blablabla....i can be certain that the Chinese will die from boredom as i got nothing interesting for them,just by seating in front of my laptop,atomizing the comment section just to piss off some bitches.Nah,i won't do that,i'm a coward,all i can do is just write your name in my Death Note even if i don't know your real name.

What i want to project here is that there's no more privacy if that is what you're looking for in this materialistic world.It had never existed.The human nature is just like that.For example,if you open a restaurant and it went on  gorgeously well until another

badass restaurant opens next to you and it happens to be splendidly more successful than yours are.Damnation! You must be wondering what the heck did they serve there that can be better than your ultimate pizza with candy topping.So,what will you do?You would probably hire someone to check on them and that,amigo, is called spying.Or let's just take some other simple example,you're currently surfing the net and reading this awesome blog,but while you and i were doing that,the Big Bro has already tracked you. They violated your privacy when you're having fun,watching pornography with so-called undetected surfing.It is said that,they have to do it to track any possible terrorist/extremist.(i'm sure there's plenty more,however who am i to judge).You mad, bro?Are you mad they tracked you down?But,what can we possibly do to stop them?Seriously,i'm asking you right now.

Well,we'll put that matter aside for now.

All this privacy thing reminded me of an article/post that i read not very long ago but already forgotten where i've read it (pfft,brain) where it had posed about the Stasi.You guys should probably know enough about it.Dated back in the 1960s until late 80s,a humongous wall had separated Berlin into the East and the West.So,it's like this Stasi rule in the East.They checked every civilian for any possible rebellion and keeps every information about that particular person like what they do at night etc by using informants. The informants could be anyone,friends or even family.But,in the article i read about the Stasi,it proposed a very different perspective which captivated me.This particular spying activity had dated way back, even before the Stasi,so i'm pretty sure there's a lot of usage of intelligence.

There's so many mysteries yet to be unfold...but some are just meant to be kept buried behind the thick concrete wall,45 feet under.

Well,anyway i hope you dear readers,live your life with a smile...

danke lunatichoco95~

Forgettable

It was painfully satiating,
     the stupid waitings,
     the numbed limbs,
     the muttered apologies.

I was wrong,
     to say it is fine,
     to tug the chapped lips,
     to hold the umbrella.

I forgot,
     that humans forget,
          forget things,
          forget people,
          forget words.
But,
     who am I,
          to blame other human.

obsession

“ Yeah love which is ineffable

I really wanna talk to you right now

This is my obsession ”

She’s so beautiful

Like an angel that fell from heaven

I even afraid to approached her

But seeing other guys near her

I really don’t like it. No. I hate it !

She’s mine. All mine !

“Hey Daehyun ! Let’s go to the café before we run out all the foods “

/café/

Her laughed

 It is so addicted

Tell me that I’m weird but I don’t mind listen to it every night before sleep

But, seeing her laughing because of others guy made me want to slay them alive

Damn it !

“ Hello~ Earth to Jung Daehyun “ Daehyun blink his eyes and look at his bestfriend, Youngjae. Clueless.

“ What the hell man ! I was talking to you but you were out of your mind and totally ignored me ! “ Daehyun bit his lips and hold a tight grip of fork that he held

“ I’m sorry “ Youngjae let out the soft sighed “ What is wrong with you ? You acting kinda weird this lately “

What is wrong with me ? I don’t know either

That beautiful long hair

Long and wavy

I’m dying to touch it

It’s beautiful

Yeah beautiful

Just like her

Her beautiful smile

That form by her thin lips

Her cute nose

Her eye smile

She so perfect

No. too perfect

I know everything about her

Her hobbies

Her favourite foods

Her favourite drinks

Her favourite colour

She love when people touch her hair

She love books

Where she lives

She own 2 cats at home

Almost everything about her

“ Mr.Jung please meet me at  the office after class “

Damn. Now what ?

/teacher’s office/

“ Mr. Jung, I want to ask you a favour. Can you be Ms. Kim tutor for maths ? She’s failed on current test so I think she needed your help since yours are the highest in the class. “

Kim ? Kim Hana ?

“ K-Kim ? “

“ Ah yes. Kim Hana “

Hana. Yes Kim Hana. Her name is Kim Hana. The one that catch my attention. The one that I don’t want to share with others and have her for my own. The one that I madly in love to.

“ Can you help me, Mr. Jung ? “

“ Yes sure “

This is it

“ Jung Daehyun ! “

That voice. That small voice

Oh god. She looked so cute with those rose pink shades creeping on her cute round cheeks

“ Uh umm.. Mrs. Park said that you will be my tutor for maths so.. when can we start ? “

“ When you want to start ? “

“ Oh are you free today ? if you don’t mind, can we start today ? “ Daehyun smiled at her

“ Sure. I’ll wait for you at school gate. Okay ? “ Hana beamed cutely at him.

Finally

Here is she

In my room

Doing what I gave her just now

I don’t understand

How can she still look cute while doing this crappy maths thingy

I can’t stop myself from looking at her

The way she will bite her lips when she confused

Her frowned

Oh God why there such a perfect girl like her in this world

“ Urm Daehyun. A little help here ? “

“ Oh I’m sorry “

The sounds of phone ringing echoed the room. It’s Hana’s. Daehyun don’t like the look of Hana’s face when she saw the caller ID. Hana excuse herself to answer the phone.

Who the hell is that ? I’m sure that person going to pay for this.

Hana returned with a smile on her face. Surely Daehyun love that smile. But he hated the fact that the smile was made by someone else. Not him

“ Daehyun can we continue this again tomorrow ? I need to go now. I have something to do “

“ Just go “ Hana was startled by his sudden coldness

“ Uhmm see you tomorrow ? “

Daehyun didn’t even bother to look at her. Hana bit her lips and wondered what she had done to him. After a bow, she exited Daehyun’s house with a feeling slight guilty.

The next day, Hana was found that Daehyun didn’t come to school.

“ Is he still mad at me ? “

In the small room deemed with light from small bulb, there was Byun Baekhyun. Tie up. On the chair.

“ WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ? LET ME GO ! “

The boy just chuckled. Looking at helpless Baekhyun tried to escaped himself

“ There no use if you keep struggling. You going to end up hurting yourself instead “

“ I’m gonna report to police once I was out from here “

The boys can help but laughed

“ I’m sorry but they going to find your death body instead “

After past few day, finally I’m back to school. With a smile on my face, most of student who saw me give a weird look. What ? is it wrong for me to smile. Oh and there a news about Byun Baekhyun was found death. Wow that was fast than I thought

Daehyun suddenly stop his step and look at the familiar figure who standing in front of her locker.

Hana

Hana closed her locker and heading to her next class but suddenly she stop when she saw Daehyun

“ Daehyun… “

Both of them were sitting on the bench under the tree at their school yard. It was so peaceful there. Because both of them were so quite it only bird sound can be heard.

“ I’m sorry about last time. I shouldn’t acting rude toward you “

Hana held a tight grip on her book.

“ it’s okay. I don’t mind at all “

Daehyun looked at Hana who look like she wanted to cry

“ H-Hey.. are you okay ? “

“ Baek-Baekhyun.. “

Damn. Out of all problem in this world how can you still thinking about Baekhyun

“ I’m so sorry about him. I just know today “

Hana shocked her head still smiling.

“ it’s okay. It’s not your fault though “

Daehyun smirked

Actually it’s was me, sweetheart

“ Can I.. “

“ Hmm ? “

“ Can I stay over at your place today ? “

Daehyun look at her. Shocked with her requested

“ It’s okay if you do- “

“ No ! No. Of course you can “

I don’t know what’s into Hana today but she’s acting kinda weird. Whatever I don’t care about that because now she’s going to be mine since Baekhyun already died.

Yes. Baekhyun is Hana’s boyfriend. How did I know ? Remember when she left my house after she got phone call from someone ? that’s Baekhyun. I followed her after she left my house. Just get to see her hugging with that Byun Bacon. As I said that she’s mine and no one can have her only me !

“ Hey you want something to drink ? “

“ Hot chocolate please “

Hana decide to check on Daehyun’s apartment while waiting for Daehyun to make a drink for them. Since she didn’t got a chance to look around last time. His place was indeed neat for a guy like him. All the furniture was place nicely and there a few pictures were hanging on the wall.

So he lived on his own all this time.

Hana notice a weird room near by the window. She had an urge to enter the room but she had a bad feeling about it. Without thinking plenty times she turned the door knob. The room was dark and maybe small. She reached the switch to turn on the lights.

Oh my God. What is this…

The room was full of her picture. She didn’t even know when was the pictures taken and she keep wondering where did Daehyun got this picture.

“ you shouldn’t be here. “

Hana was startled by his voice. She slowly turned around to meet his gaze.

“ H-how ? “

Daehyun smirked and take a few stepped to Hana.

“ no ! don’t come near me you freak “

Freak ? !

Daehyun keep his step toward Hana and gripped her wrist tightly.

“ No. don’t hurt me “

“ How can I hurt you while I love you so much, hmm ? “

Daehyun hugged Hana. He felt her body trembling. Because of him. Maybe. He pulled away and cupped her face.

“ Open your eyes please “

He whipped Hana’s tear from her cheeks

“ Please “

Slowly, Hana open her eyes. She looked straight into Daehyun’s eyes.

“ You killed Baekhyun, right ? “

Silence

“ ANSWER ME JUNG DAEHYUN! “

He gripped Hana’s shoulder and shook her as he said

“ YES ! YES ! I KILLED HIM ! I HATE TO SEE HIM AROUND YOU. I HATE IT WHEN HE HUGGED YOU. I HATE IT WHEN HE KISSED YOU. I HATE IT WHEN HE CAN MAKE YOU SMILE. AND I HATE THE FACT THAT HE LOVE YOU AS I DO “

“ But you can’t change the fate that he love me too, Daehyun. “

“ Yes I can ! that’s why I killed him “ he chuckled while sobbing

“ I love you Hana. I will do anything to make you love me. “

“ This is not love Daehyun. This is obsession. You don’t know what is love. “  

You are my obsession Cause all of my confession

“ I’m sorry Daehyun but I can’t love you back “

Daehyun stood up and left Hana there.

I have a bad feeling about this. I should leave now

As she exited the room, there Daehyun stood in front of the door. Her eyes drop at the sight of Daehyun’s hand.

“ No Daehyun don’t “

“ I’m sorry Hana. I’m sorry. I don’t want anybody to love you except me “

Hana run to a random room to hide herself.  

“ Why did you hide from me Hana ? I thought we are friends “

“ I wouldn’t do anything that unpleased you “

“ please I’m begging you “

Hell no. I’m over if I do

“ Kim Hana please “

Suddenly, the phone rang. Youngjae’s name was on display.

Shot. What now ?

“HELP ME, YOUNGJAE ! I’M IN DANGER RIGHT NOW! PLEASE, CALL THE POLIC……”

The phone was taken by Daehyun.

“ Hello?! Hana,are you there?  What did you say ? ”

“ Hey, Youngjae. It’s Daehyun. What’s up? ”

“ What did you do to Hana? ”

“ I’m just practice my acting for the upcoming cultural festival. That’s all, nothing more, nothing less ”

“ Cultural festival ? Whe- “

Daehyun throw Hana’s phone away and he look at Hana that tried to escape herself.

“ I’m sorry baby but I already locked the door “

Hana look back at Daehyun. Looking helpless.

“ Please Daehyun. Let me go. Please I’m begging you “

“ NO ! “

You are my obsession

This is my obsession

“ I’m sorry but I have to do this “

“ NO DAEHYUN PLEASE “

Without thinking twice, Daehyun stabbed Hana. Blood started to dripping from the knife. Hana looked down at the knife and then back to Daehyun. Tears rolled down wetting her flushed cheeks.

“ Dae-Daehyun. Why ? “

“ Because I want your heart. Because this is my obsession. “

Obsession. This is all because of obsession.

“ Love equal obsession, obsession equal love “

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's being a long time isn't ? hihi. I tried my best to write angst story and here the result.

I hope you guys enjoy it ! 

I just made this cutie pie the killer in this story

gif and picture cr to the owner 

D-3: 30 days poem game

so long, mortals.

Day 3- Find the nearest book (of any kind). Turn to page 8. Use the first ten full words on the page in a poem. You may use them in any order, anywhere in the poem.

the sea

                                                                                                                  do you feel--
                                                                                                           the flowing wave
                                                                                                     the rushing of the sea-tides;
                                                                                               the soft oceans breeze
                                                                                         the smell of refreshing sea?

           did we actually realize
      that        
the sea incarnate emotions--
                                  love.
                                    hate. 
                                        anger. 
                                            weeps.
                   we've been missing the whole point of the ocean. 
                                         

this picture was taken at Telok Kemang, Kuantan, Malaysia, on Dec 7, 2011